I’ve been tested since the encounter to make sure I didn’t catch anything. I don’t regret being with a trans woman because I wanted to experiment. (I would never kill myself-I wouldn’t do that to my family and friends.) I still want to date women and have sex with women. I feel really depressed about this traumatic situation. I just can’t get past the fact that I did the gayest thing a guy can do. She was very safe and used condoms for everything. But the next day, I started to feel really bad. At the time, I was too fucked up to care. But somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, so nothing new. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. One night, after drinking with a friend and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. However, in the last year, here and there, I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn. I love women, I’ve always loved women, I’ve always loved having sex with women.
